The One Thing
For most of my life the people I grew up around — friends from college and aspirational people that I looked up to had a somewhat conventional career and life trajectory. College followed by career ladder climbing at a corporation. Most of my friends from college were engineers with musical hobbies — playing and instrument and going to music festivals. I had a few climber friends.
In early 2010, Chris and I started dating. He was the antithesis of the majority of the people I knew. He often tells the story that he wrote his resignation to Morgan Stanley when his boss rejected his first request for a vacation after 2 years. While I would agree that 2 years without a vacation seems extreme, he totally transformed his outlook on making a living. Having many years in the marine industry getting through college, he made a return with a goal of creating his own schedule.
The best surfer out there is the one having the most fun.
In those early years dating, I often felt a twinge of envy about the work life balance. I often would only be able to meet up for for a few days of a longer vacation. There were several trips to the Bahamas that I only got to see the pictures.
Beyond creating a profession to suit his life style, Chris is blessed to have a life long passion: surfing. Chris loves surfing and if the waves are firing, I know I’m going to be on my own for a days. In the early years, I did a lot of soul searching. What was the one thing I felt so passionate about that I would sacrifice just about anything else? I really couldn’t answer. I was a fast runner and I liked reading. I was a solid employee. Why didn’t I have that one thing? Chris even wondered the same, as though there was a part of me missing. He chalked it up to me just not yet figuring it out yet.
Thirteen years and two kids later, I know that when the surfs up, I will be on my own for a few days. He goes to the surf and then comes back fulfilled. Surf is fleeting, I academically understand the urgency. I also know that I don’t have “the one thing.” I have found that I have many things that bring me enjoyment. And these things have even changed over the years. I’ve never had a strong enough pull that I had to sacrifice anything more than some sleep or use a vacation day.
Our differences might bring friction sometimes, but in the end we balance each other out. I’m OK knowing I don’t have that one thing. I get a huge sense of satisfaction from my job. I love where we live and getting so much time at the beach. The kids get a parent of each type.